It had sunk in..mum was going to die, and soon. Rest assured she was not in pain, she was comfortable. Mum was slowly going downhill, not that she ever complained, she never once complained about her struggle. She was still eating and drinking although not lots.
I think i pretty much stayed with mum all day, being a nurse meant she had a steady flow of friends and coworkers.
I remember one conversation about where mum's ashes were going. Mum had a plot in the wall at Templestowe cemetary however from our experience there are usually more ashes then will fit. So mum said all she wanted was for her ashes to be spead somewhere peaceful, perhaps where a creek meets the sea.
I really had no idea, but it was my intention to go to queensland to see if i could get some work in my field of study.
Mum and i, i think had a special bond, it's hard to quantify, not sayng she loved any other of my siblings less, but there was something. perhaps it was the journey we had travelled of the past years through her treatment.
I know mum lived a few days more but it was this night i said goodbye to her. I think it was we were alone, we'd chatted all day. I had to say goodbye to go home and get some sleep. I kissed her and gave her a cuddle(it was one thing she always great cuddles). As I left her room i turned around. She was waving goodbye with a smile on her kind face. It is this image in my head that i remember.
I waved back, holding back the tears until i got into the lift where i lost it, thankfully i was alone. i went home and slept.